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Harry Reis, a professor of psychology at the University of Rochester, said the silent treatment is “not really silent.”
“There’s no sound to it, but the message is unmistakable. And that message is that I’m angry with you.”
The silent treatment is intentionally ignoring someone close to you after a conflict or perceived slight in an effort to send that person a message. Another psychologist described it as a “noisy silence.”
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Psychologists who have studied social ostracism find that being ignored threatens fundamental needs we have as humans to feel a sense of belonging, acceptance and self-esteem.
“The silent treatment cuts off our belonging to a social unit. It’s slicing that sense of, ‘I’m one of us,’” said Ximena Arriaga, a professor of psychology at Purdue University.
Often the person who is giving the silent treatment doesn’t benefit either.
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