Lauren Yee & David Stanley are She Said, He Said.
Lauren is a 30-something, agnostic, unmarried, Asian-American, woman who lives in the Bay Area.
David is 60-something, Zen Juddhist, married with an adult son, man who lives in Flint.
The Rules – They choose a topic, and with no discussion, each knocks out around 1,000 words. What you get is the straight scoop, the skinny, the 4-1-1 on what each one thinks.
Come back each month for more Lauren & David Write!
Forever fitness is in your fun – She Said
It feels weird to say, but I actually like working out. To be fair, who doesn’t want to do things that will make their lives easier, better, or longer? Of course I’d love to be in shape and minimize my health risks! That being said, there’s no shortage in the number of excuses for not making it a priority, especially as an adult. I have so much adulting to do – work, grocery shopping, cooking, housework, bills, paying attention to family, maintaining friendships, laundry – and there already aren’t enough hours in the day or days in the week. There was no parking at the gym. It’s too cold out. It’s freaking hot out! It’s getting dark, so I probably shouldn’t be out solo. Buying apparel and gear or equipment is expensive. I don’t want to get up early. It’s already so late at night. But… the couch is so comfortable. Making the choice can be mentally hard! I make that choice much quicker and easier these days; but for a long time, I think I approached physical fitness in the wrong way.
It was so much easier to get exercise when I was a kid, David. Nobody had to tell me to go do it, I just ran around and played on playgrounds and did it. Okay, sure, it’s tough to match the energy of a 6 or 7 year old as an adult, that’s beside the point. When I was a kid, running around was fun. It was the best feeling to be let loose at a park, or released into the wild of the neighborhood or recess, to do whatever I wanted for an hour… or seven. I could just go find other kids who were ready and willing to play hide-and-seek, tag, tetherball, or foursquare. Make believe games with “house rules” like the floor is lava, Power Rangers, or nerf battles involving forts and secret hideouts were also commonly found in rotation. No matter how long we got to play, it was never enough time and we always wanted to stay a little bit longer.
Even structured exercise was fun back then. P.E. class time got us moving around but was mostly game based. I loved playing things like capture-the-flag, sharks and minnows, or steal-the-bacon. And dodgeball in the gym on rainy days was the best – also lowkey terrifying at times! Organized sports were new and exciting, and everyone was learning and building skills – most people weren’t very good at them yet – so there was no pressure to perform well. I feel like most cities had leagues for most of the mainstream sports, and anyone was allowed to sign-up. Learning and practicing skills was a competition – playing HORSE or Knockout for shooting hoops or Simon Says for practicing all kinds of dribbling or juggling skills in soccer. I remember practicing the motion for serving or spiking in volleyball by raised my elbow in front of me, stacking quarters on it, and then swinging down and back to try catching the quarters before they flew everywhere. We got “tricked” into exercise by having a good time.
Then – dun, dun, DUN – once I hit my teens, exercise suddenly got so serious… and unexpectedly boring. Since it’s not appropriate to grade students on their athleticism, P.E. was suddenly about learning about all kinds of sports. I’m pretty sure most of my time during that class period was spent waiting in line to run through monotonous drills that most of us didn’t care about, taking written tests about the terms and rules of various sports, or running. We had weekly “run days” where we’d literally have to run or power walk around the track or the perimeter of the gym for the entire period. I hated running. Still do, actually.
Running by playing sports was great though. Sure you have to run, except you get to be “distracted” by doing other things along the way. Now that I was in high school though, you had to try out for the team just so that you could play with your friends. I was lucky enough to make the team for volleyball and basketball at that time, but practicing skills was now endless strings of going thru the motions, there was a lot more yelling when mistakes were made, and running as a consequence for said mistakes was literally doing a drill called “suicides.” Those were the worst!
On top of a lot of the fun being sucked out these times, individual exercise for the rest of your life often seems to revolve around either going for a run or to the gym. Seriously, why is there so much running in adulthood?? As a woman, there are also social pressures nudging us to exercise in order to achieve the ideal body shape – or to put it more bluntly, “be smaller and thinner” – rather than to be strong, healthy, and in good physical condition. The focus became so results oriented… get a grade, win, lose weight.
It’s so easy to make excuses for things we dislike and that sound hard, and that version of going about exercise totally sucks. I want to do what I can to be healthy, but for me… and I’d like to not hate it in the process. I’m a big proponent of “adulting like a kid,” and finding ways to make things easy to do and fun. Honestly, I think that’s the key to staying consistent and continuing to make health (or anything, really) a priority for the long run. If you enjoy it, or at least a majority of it, you’ll actively make time for it.
I’ve always liked using color – in my wardrobe, when I’m taking notes, multicolored post-its for organizing, all kinds of stuff. Realizing this, last year I had made a goal to workout (or move my body intentionally — stretching, foam-rolling, and going for a walk totally counted…gotta make it easy) everyday, for at least 20 minutes. So I made myself a one-page grid to track my progress and color-in as I went. Wow. Turns out I’m very motivated by using colorful markers and not wanting to disrupt the rainbow pattern I had created for myself. But it worked, and I did it!
I played team sports growing up, and I still love doing activities with other people. Group fitness classes are my jam. It’s not running, there’s variance in the movements and exercises you’re doing from minute-to-minute – “distractions!,” we’re all working on or towards the same thing which creates a certain kind of energy, and you have a little community with the other people in class (whether you actually know them or not). I’ve always been a pretty good teammate and I like being able to support and uplift other people during breaks or cooldown. When the pandemic hit, I found myself some accountability buddies. I had some friends who used the same workout apps or YouTube channels and we’d do them on the same days or compare notes about different trainers. Another friend group of mine got the idea to make up our own little month-long mini challenge. We all agreed to do 25 push-ups a day last month and would text each other that we did or motivational GIFs along the way. We liked it so much we’re now doing a plank challenge this month – but you know that, because you joined us! Doing stuff together is one of my favorite things and it makes things fun.
I think more people are catching onto this idea too. There are so many “fun runs” these days: Neon Run, Rock ‘n Roll Run, Spartan Races, Tough Mudders, Craft Brew Races. I know, David, I know… I previously said how much I hated running. That’s still correct. Still, when my friend asked if I’d do the “Beat the Blerch” race with her – inspired by the online comic “The Oatmeal,” which we both looked at all the time – and she told me there would be couches along the race path, not just stations for water but also cake, and we’d get a fun medal and t-shirt out of it, did I say “yes”? Absolutely I did. It sounded like fun, and who doesn’t want cake with your exercise?
Lifelong Fitness is Fun – He Said.
Let me put this at the front. Lifelong fitness is fun. If what you do for fitness is not fun, you’re doing fitness all wrong. If you’re not doing activities that are fun, it won’t be lifelong fitness. You’ll bail, because no fun sucks, right, Lauren? and that’s a shame.
Oh, and let me put this right up front, too. Lauren, you might know that in my 20s, I was a pretty fair semi-professional bike racer. That’s the riding 300+ miles a week, weighing out your food, on the road to races 9 months a year variety of bike racer. No news to anyone; athletic excellence requires total obsession. This stuff below doesn’t apply to those folks until they get a real job.
Fitness training is the adult version of recess. When you choose activities that are intrinsically a joy to your inner child, you will do them to 100%. Your health, mental and physical, will improve. You will do them until you die. At age 94, doing parkour.
Here’s the best part, you don’t have to do the same thing over and over again. You’re a grown-up. Do whatever the hell you want. Go rock-climbing. Play pickleball. Do open water swims. Join a summer boot camp.
I know this is true for you, Lauren. It’s true for me. More movement=more joy.
Everyone can be fit. Tall or short, endo-, ecto-, or mesomorph, old or young, fat or skinny, we can become more healthy. If you want it to stick, then it better be fun. Maximize the fitness fun, that’s my mantra.
No body-shaming allowed. Someone gives you shit because you’re chubby, you are entitled to a loud “Fuck you” in their direction. Or a throat punch. Your choice. I got your back.
Where to begin? That’s easy. What was fun when you were a kid? Swinging on the swings? Jumping rope? That nearly every boxer and martial artist in the world uses a jump rope should tell you it’s a great work-out. Swings are riot. If you like swings, head to the park. Pumping those legs and feeling the weightlessness will make you 9 again.
The big question corollary: How to decipher what your fun looks like? You get out there and try it. If you can afford it, pop for a few lessons. Might as well start out safe and master a couple of basics. Once you feel comfortable in your kayak, or you don’t make your belay partner nervous at the climbing gym, make a commitment for a few months to a regular play date. (You can call it practice if you want to, but for me that sounds a lot like what my Mom told me I had to do every day at the piano when I was ten and I would rather be outside playing basketball with the fellas. And funny thing, once I stopped with piano lessons and practice, I started to play all the time, and have actually made a few bucks as a keyboard player. There’s a lesson here. As soon as I sort it out, I’ll let you know.)
This winter, our snow has been sketchy, so while I’ve been able to downhill ski a lot, X-C has been crap. I started to ruck with my dog Josie. I toss a bunch of heavy stuff (sandbags and medicine balls) in my backpack and we go for a fast walk. Preferably off-road, but if you’re in the city, I guarantee you won’t be the only rucker out there on 72nd St.
Let’s make a list, Lauren, of sports & games that will get your heart rate up.
Badminton (and all the other “ball-over-the-net” games), basketball, bicycling, boxing, climbing, fencing, fitness classes and boot camps, frisbee (and all its iterations), handball, hockey, juggling, kayak, martial arts, motocross, orienteering/geocache, racquet sports, skating (ice and roller), skateboarding, slackline, sliding-on or tramping-in snow sports, trampoline, weight-lifting, wood-chopping, yoga.
That’s 25-ish activities, right off the top of my head. I suspect there is a wiki page with 700 activities labeled ‘fun & games.’1 I know that somewhere out there is an activity for everyone. And for everyone, an activity.
I should add; and for everyone, a new friend. Yep, a good work-out/activity/fun & games partner can make all the difference. Find a like-minded person, be each other’s best cheerleader, and hang on tight.
Three important notes:
- Get a doctor’s clearance. If you haven’t seen a doc in a while, and given the pandemic, that’s not unlikely, see your health care provider and let them know what you’re up to.
- Be scalable. If you haven’t jumped rope since you were 11, be smart, okay? Start with one or two Mabel, Mabels, okay? You do five and you’ll definitely be working from home the next day since your calves will be so sore you won’t be able to walk to the bus.
- If it hurts, stop. Hurting is not fun. I’ve been rehabbing a torn medial meniscus in my left knee. Some days, it really stings. I don’t ride the bike on those days. I do battle ropes with a weight vest on instead. I get my heart rate up. I built some excellent shoulders. Most important, it gives my sore knee a rest. If an activity continually hurts, then swap it out for something else.
Worried that you should look like a fitness model, but you’ll fall short? Don’t worry. Be happy. That look is a full-time job. It requires massive discipline and denial and a 24 hour per day obsession with your physique. I’ve been there, as a bike racer, and while it is rewarding, it’s not all that much fun that much of the time.
What does my fitness fun look like these days? Yes, I make a work-out calendar and I keep a fitness journal. I have since 1979 when I started serious bike racing. I recommend both.
I mentioned that I started to ruck. This spring and summer, I’ll ruck one day a week. I love to lift. As John Cena once said, “Hey, I like to pick up heavy things.” Me, too. I lift once a week. That’s plenty. I do one WOD day each week. I have a slackline in the back yard. I suck at it, but I don’t care. It’s fun and a challenge.
Of course, there is always the bicycle. I’ve loved to ride my bicycle since I was a teen. If you don’t love to ride, you will never want to train 300 miles a week. These days, I ride 150 miles a week and a lot of it is now on gravel roads. There are far fewer cars. It’s a fricking riot.
That’s the key, isn’t it, Lauren? If you take away nothing from this piece, take this: “Make it a fricking riot.” I am 64 this July, and aside from a few weeks here and there due to injury and illness, I can’t remember going more than a day or two without getting after it since I was 15. Why the consistency? Because what I do is a fricking riot. I love to be active and you should, too. It’s your body; get out there and use it. Have fun. Make people jealous that you, a serious grown-up, are hopscotching with the kids in the neighborhood. I am not a particularly observant Jew, but this is so damn true: …for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. (Psalm 139:14).
Rejoice in the wonder, folks. And don’t ever stop.
- The wiki listing for sports & games gives over 8,000 indigenous sports and sporting games. You can’t find one you like, tweet at me (@Dstan58). I’ll help you out.
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