A friend recently took his own life. He was a young and passionate teacher, always full of energy and laughter, and the last person I’d ever imagine was on the verge of suicide.
It is sad to say that one of the greatest talents a depressed person holds is their ability to hide their suffering.
The fact that people feel a need to hide their vulnerabilities says a lot about how far we need to go as a society. If we are not comfortable expressing issues such as anxiety, addiction, and depression then we need to create change. As uncomfortable as it is, we must get better at talking about our problems.
The issue is multiplied as there are even times when the sufferer does reach out, but for all too many, it isn’t well received.
Everybody has probably reached out at some point – whether it be depression, drinking, insomnia, anxiety, binge eating – and it’s received with a form of toxic positivity or an awkward silence.
Every single person alive has their own issues and hang ups, but most people hold back when it comes to talking about them. Whichever way we look at this, it’s clear that talking about personal issues is a taboo, and we’re all far more comfortable trying to pass off as normal.
One of my friends will openly talk about his battle with anxiety while he is blisteringly drunk, but whenever I’ve asked him how he’s doing when he’s sober, it’s been brushed off as quickly as possible.
Many people do manage to reach out in different ways, sometimes subtle and sometimes boldly, but all too often it’s misunderstood or it’s difficult for others to talk about. It’s a tragedy that we are so uncomfortable talking about our problems as it’s one of the major things we can do to ease the pain.
As a society, we need to be more courageous in talking about our hang ups and we need to normalize talking about our vulnerabilities.
The hush, hush and stiff upper lip nonsense is not working. We’ve all seen the suicide, mental health, and addictions statistics. We know that whatever we’re doing right now is not working, and we’re losing good people because of a bizarre sense of pride.
It is because we love each other that we must get better at communicating about our vulnerabilities. It may be uncomfortable and it may feel strange, but it is the communication that is the first step into processing our problems.
At some point, everyone gets anxious, exhausted, bewildered – anyone who has lived has suffered. We share this life together, as social animals, so it’s time we stopped pretending we are so alone. The better we get at opening up and sharing the better we get at living.
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