This Test Will Tell You If You're A Likable Person (Take It If You Dare)

Personal GrowthAm I Likable? Take The Likable Person Test + 7 Key Traits To Look For

Author: Sarah ReganNovember 30, 2022

mbg Spirituality & Relationships WriterBy Sarah Reganmbg Spirituality & Relationships WriterSarah Regan is a Spirituality & Relationships Writer, and a registered yoga instructor. She received her bachelor's in broadcasting and mass communication from SUNY Oswego, and lives in Buffalo, New York.What it means to be a likable personLikable person test7 traits of likable peopleFAQTakeawayImage by FG Trade / iStockNovember 30, 2022Our editors have independently chosen the products listed on this page. If you purchase something mentioned in this article, we may earn a small commission.

Likability is a subjective concept, with each of us having our own ideas on what makes a person likable and what types of people we like to be around. That said, there does seem to be some general overlap, with a few quintessential qualities that often deem someone likable.

Here's what we know about what constitutes "likable qualities," according to research and experts, plus a likable person test to gauge your own likability.

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What it means to be a likable person.

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"Likable" is defined by the Oxford Dictionary as "pleasant, friendly, and easy to like," and that's what you're going to get with a likable person. According to psychotherapist Babita Spinelli, L.P., likable people are also multifaceted individuals with open minds and a well of empathy.

"They tend to be individuals who are open-minded and create a space where people feel comfortable to be themselves. They have an ability to create a no-judgment experience," she explains. And licensed marriage and family therapist Shane Birkel, LMFT, echoes this point as well, noting that likable people have high emotional intelligence and know how to interact well with others, thus inviting others in.

And while we all may have personal preferences in what we like in people, these foundational aspects are what we typically associate with likability.

The likable person test:

Are you a likable person?

Likable

Congratulations, you are probably a likable person to most! Based on your responses, your personality shows a high amount of openness, friendliness, compassion, and authenticity—all things people like in others. Keep doing what you're doing.

Mostly likable

You are mostly likable with a few "less desirable" traits, based on your responses. Certain aspects of your personality may rub others the wrong way, while some people may take no issue with your quirks. If you value your own authenticity, you don't necessarily need to change anything, but if you want to be more likable, you can try leaning into your more open and friendly qualities.

Potentially unlikable

OK—maybe not the response you were hoping for, but what's important is there's room for growth. While certain likable traits such as openness, friendliness, and compassion may not come as naturally to you, you can make an effort to flex these qualities and become a more likable person. (If that's what you want to do, of course.)

When I meet someone for the first time, I...

When someone else succeeds I typically feel...

When I speak I mainly...

I find myself judging people...

I make people laugh...

When I'm engaging in a conversation with others...

When it comes to authenticity...

Seeing others go through a hard time makes me feel...

I try to help others...

People seem drawn to me...

I take care of myself because...

I stay true to my word...

When I listen I...

I react defensively...

Making friends has always been...

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7 traits of a likable person:

Positive

According to both Birkel and Spinelli, likable people exude a certain positivity that makes others feel warm. And we're not talking about toxic positivity here; we mean a genuine positive attitude and outlook. Likable people are good at finding ways to keep things lighthearted, humorous, and rosy, with Birkel noting that they're excellent at breaking the ice and Spinelli adding they are also fun and can laugh at themselves.

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Open

Being open and nonjudgmental is another strong quality of a likable person. As Birkel tells mbg, "They really allow others to be themselves and don't make anyone feel judged." This includes, and is particularly relevant, when engaging with someone who has different beliefs, perspectives, or interests than them.

Friendly

Likable people are, of course, friendly. Even if they are a more reserved person, again, it's that warm quality that lets people know, "This person is safe." As Spinelli puts it, likable people are "a well-balanced combination of energy and spirit without overpowering others. They share interesting anecdotes or information, but are also heart-centered in their approach with others or situations."

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Engaging

And speaking of well balanced, Birkel and Spinelli both note that likable people have a very balanced way of engaging with others. As Birkel explains, you wouldn't particularly want to engage with someone who doesn't let you get a word in, but you also don't want to have to carry the conversation. A likable person, he says, is able to strike the balance between the two, so there's appropriate give and take.

Self-assured

Confidence is a prime example of the Goldilocks principle—too much and you could be seen as arrogant, too little and you could be seen as insecure. But when you have just enough, Birkel says, it invites people in because they can sense that you're self-assured and stable. When you "love yourself from the inside out," he says, people will find you more likable, but when you appear to be not taking care of yourself, it can send others the wrong message.

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Authentic

Authenticity is invaluable in a world of filters and questionable motivations. When people can sense that you're authentic, according to Birkel, they'll not only trust you more but will find you more likable. And this includes things like keeping your word, which Spinelli adds is important, too. "People find [likable people] to be trustworthy and reliable, whether it is their consistent behavior or sticking to their commitments," she tells mbg.

Caring

And lastly, likable people care. "They are empathic listeners and show a genuine interest about what someone else is sharing," Spinelli notes. Whether it's lending a hand to help a friend, asking others questions, or reaching out to connect with someone, likable people aren't afraid to show they care.

The takeaway.

Maybe you've always been super likable, or maybe you took this quiz and realized you have a little work to do. Or, of course, there's always the chance that being likable isn't your biggest priority in life—which is totally your prerogative. But if you do want to become more likable, the good news is understanding what makes someone well liked and making a few thoughtful behavioral tweaks can go a long, long way.

Sarah Reganmbg Spirituality & Relationships Writer

Sarah Regan is a Spirituality & Relationships Writer, as well as a registered yoga instructor. She received her bachelor's in broadcasting and mass communication from SUNY Oswego, and lives in Buffalo, New York.

Original Article