Nurturing Healing: Strategies for Single Black Fathers on the Road to Recovery

I understand that your kids mean the world to you. They rely on your every word, action, and deed, inspiring hope in us as black men. And yet, because of our life’s path, we often face trying circumstances that shake our world to the core. Think it not strange that you have made it to a place where you seek wisdom and understanding in this season of your life.

At some point, we all will find ourselves wanting support, a few encouraging words, and clarity when it comes to building a stable foundation for our family. It’s ok if you are currently paying child support, living paycheck to paycheck, struggling to pay your bills, dealing with school issues with the children, or having career challenges.

If you are in a job that you hate, learn how to reframe the situation. It can be challenging to work just to pay bills with no buy-in on an emotional level when it comes to your career aspirations. At this stage in the game, anything will suffice regarding raising our kids. Although the job is only temporary, you can turn it into a mental prison if you don’t learn how to reframe the narrative.

See your job or work as a training ground for your greatness. Affirm daily that you are blessed and living your best life. Feel it and aspire towards those mental pictures; in time, you will live in that reality. Smile more. While others may see your angry external expressions, I am looking at the happy and healed inner man who loves his children and gets a kick out of providing.

You are on a path of healing. I don’t care if you are generating $50,000 a year with multiple cars, good credit, and great support; you need someone who can guide you in relieving stress due to the lack of mental stability. Over the past 15 years of my life, I developed a few strategies that brought a revolution in my thinking.

I began to nurture those things that gave me insight into how I could move forward with my life. Here is what I discovered.

Let Sleeping Dogs Lie: avoid interfering in a situation currently causing no problems but might do so due to such interference. Mind your business at all costs regarding things that can distract you from your family. If you are an extrovert, pick and choose when to make your presence felt. You heal by not taking on more than you can chew. Avoid large crowds and chill at home if the situation permits.

Get Quiet When trouble arises: Less is more in the courts of public opinion. Take it all in and begin assessing the damage while strategically seeking to imagine a new world for you and your seeds. Reframe the narrative that says being loud and boisterous is a sign of strength.

Reframe The Narrative: Live the in the state of completion even if you can’t rub two nickels together. Consciousness is powerful, and the more you secrete hopelessness in your subconscious mind, the more it will reflect in your daily experiences. Never accept the status quo. Believe that you are already successful and that nothing shows up in your life unless you give it permission to.

Hang in there. Your turn is coming. I see big things in your future, and your children will be blessed because you invest in your own personal growth and development.

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This post was previously published on MEDIUM.COM.

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