More Caregiver Humor – Almost True One-Liners

Sit back and take a caregiver respite as you enjoy these one-line bits of humor—some may be too true to bear!

“I’m so old that my blood type is discontinued.” – Bill Dane

Memory Remembering Forgetting

“The older I get, the more clearly I remember things that never happened. – Mark Twain

“The older I get, the better I used to be.” – Lee Trevino

“By the time you’re 80 years old you’ve learned everything. You only have to remember it.” – George Burns

“The important thing to remember is that I’m probably going to forget.” – Unknown

“First you forget names, then you forget faces, then you forget to pull your zipper up, then you forget to….” – Leo Rosenberg

Physical

“Don’t let aging get you down. It’s too hard to get back up.” – John Wagner

“Old[er] people shouldn’t eat health foods. [We] need all the preservatives [we] can get.” – Robert Orben

“I have successfully completed the thirty-year transition from wanting to stay up late to just wanting to go to bed.” – Unknown

“You know you are getting old when everything either dries up or leaks.” – Joel Plaskett

Worrying about What People Think

“At age 20, we worry about what others think of us… at age 40, we don’t care what they think of us… at age 60, we discover they haven’t been thinking of us at all.” – Ann Landers

Life’s Final Exam

“I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a lot more as they get older, and then it dawned on me—they’re cramming for their final exam.” – George Carlin

Thank you, Kirk Bresee, for sharing these Aging Quotes.

More at Funny Quotes about Getting Older – New Retirement

And for more humor be sure to visit The Caregiver’s Voice – Humor Column