Let’s be honest, depression is dark as fuck. Surviving depression can feel impossible when you’re in its grips. I don’t want to make light of this subject because I’ve been there plenty of times myself and I know how it can feel. Here on projectenergise.com, I want you to feel welcome, and for it not to seem like I’m talking down to you about subjects like depression. If you searched for how to survive depression and you landed here, you’ve probably found yourself in a rough spot for a while. I understand how you feel, and that’s why I thought it was important for me to write about it here. Subjects surrounding mental health have been stigmatised since the dawn of time.
There used to be a time when people automatically thought you were ‘crazy’ if you mentioned that you were anxious or depressed. Way back when, people were even hospitalised and treated in very poor ways to try and ‘fix’ them of their mental illnesses. If there’s one thing history has taught us, it’s that mental health has never really been fully understood, or, talked about in an open way, that makes it more normal.
Because here’s the thing, mental health is, and always has been, as common as scraped knees.
It’s just never been talked about openly. It’s sad but it’s true. However, the turn of the century brought with it a new focus on mental health and depression. Surviving depression used to be a battle you had to keep to yourself. In the 21st century, there’s organisations that are encouraging people to talk about how they are feeling.
The thing is, most of us will experience some kind of mental wellbeing issue that will affect our daily lives. I find it ridiculous that people still treat depressed people with extra care, as if they are completely unstable. Always tip-toeing around the issue.
Surviving My Own Depression
I feel as if sharing my own story with others is helpful, because being depressed can make you feel totally isolated and lonely. Knowing how common it is, it can make it easier knowing that you’re not the only one.
When I first experienced depression, I was seventeen years old. I was feeling totally lost in my life, as if I was confused about what I should be doing, who I was, and what the hell my life even meant. It felt as if everything was pointless and life didn’t really matter. Things just felt bland…
My depression was so bad that I didn’t even want to get out of bed. I remember wondering why I felt depressed in the first place. To me, it didn’t seem like there was a ‘trigger’ that made it all come crashing down around me. I just felt down, really really down…
Because I didn’t know why I was depressed, I felt it difficult to talk about. How could I explain how I felt, when nothing seemed to be wrong in my life? That’s where we all find ourselves sometimes. It can be as if you feel some kind of quilt for feeling the way you do.
The second time I went into a major depression, was years later, almost ten years later. I was at a point where I hated my job, thought my life was pointless again, and wondered what I was putting in all the effort for. With a low wage and not being able to reach where I wanted to be, adult life seemed like it was all too much.
I was totally withdrawn again, feeling empty and alone.
The mundane repetitive cycle of the same day repeating itself sent me into depression. What I noticed was, the depression was very like the depression I had when I was 17. The same feelings of confusion and emptiness had returned. It had me wondering if I would from time to time keep going back into the same depression. My conclusion was that depression would be something I may never feel again, or it might come back time and time again at different stages in my life.
Whilst some people might find this scary, it made me realise how normal it was. Add to the fact that family members and friends had just started to experience depression for the first times in their lives. Sure, I may be more susceptible to depressive thoughts, but I noticed how many people in my life were feeling the same way. Just because we don’t talk about it as a society, doesn’t mean it’s not happening, or it’s not a ‘real thing’.
I hate seeing the people I care about suffer with depression, however it made me feel more ‘normal‘.
Depression isn’t something that ‘might’ happen to you like going bald for example, it’s very likely at some point it will. And when it does, you’ll probably find yourself feeling alone and isolated in your thoughts.
How To Survive Depression
Everyone is different, so different people will find different things help them. The following is what has personally helped me the most to get out of depression.
Because I’ve had two noticeable bouts of depression in my life, I’ve found the same thing helping to pull me out of it, both times. I believe to survive depression, you need to have a network. For me, it’s been my family and friends. Sure enough, I was taking antidepressants for years, but they only did so much. I personally didn’t want to rely on meds my whole life, and so I came off them. (Remember to consult your doctor if you’re planning on doing this.)
My network has been everything. Breaking down that barrier, and talking to family and friends about how I was feeling was the one thing that got me out of my head when I was depressed. It didn’t magically make me not depressed, but in time, externalising the feelings helped to put me back on the right path.
A lot of times, being able to initially talk is the hardest part. When you start to realise your depression isn’t as uncommon as you may have been thinking, you get a little hope for yourself.
One of the worst things you can do is hold it all in. Don’t be ashamed of how you’re feeling.
I like how Jim Carrey described depression;
People talk about depression all the time. The difference between depression and sadness is sadness is just from happenstance—whatever happened or didn’t happen for you, or grief, or whatever it is. Depression is your body saying f*ck you, I don’t want to be this character anymore, I don’t want to hold up this avatar that you’ve created in the world. It’s too much for me.
You should think of the word ‘depressed’ as ‘deep rest.’ Your body needs to be depressed. It needs deep rest from the character that you’ve been trying to play.
Jim describes depression as being a result of keeping up a character you’ve been trying to play. In a world where we play characters everyday, it’s easy to feel like you’re not being true to yourself. Sometimes you need ‘deep rest’ from the character you’ve been holding up.
That’s why talking openly about how you TRULY feel is crucial. And there is no shame in it.
I hope you found this useful, if you have any of you own advice on what has helped to, please share it in the comments.
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This post was previously published on Projectenergise.com.
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The post How To Survive Depression – by Someone Who’s Been There appeared first on The Good Men Project.
