It sounds too easy, right? Plus, if you suffer from depression and depressive episodes, you know the last thing you feel like doing during a dip is being grateful. The emotions that accompany gratitude are even harder to access while in the depths of depression.
However, gratitude is more than an emotion. It’s a practice. A practice to put in place before your brain plunges you once again into the abyss that is depression.
Here’s how to start the practice of gratitude so it’s there when you most need it:
Make a list of all the things you’re grateful for, and all the people to whom you are grateful. Start the list when you are experiencing relative normalcy. Read through the list every day, and add to it whenever something else to be grateful for pops up.
When a depressive episode arrives, you’ll have developed the habit of being grateful. That’s when the practice comes to your aid.
Eight studies (N=2,973) tested the theory that gratitude is related to fewer depressive symptoms through positive reframing and positive emotion. Study 1 found a direct path between gratitude and depressive symptoms. Studies 2–5 demonstrated that positive reframing mediated the relationship between gratitude and depressive symptoms. Studies 6–7 showed that positive emotion mediated the relationship between gratitude and depressive symptoms. Study 8 found that positive reframing and positive emotion simultaneously mediated the relationship between gratitude and depressive symptoms. In sum, these eight studies demonstrate that gratitude is related to fewer depressive symptoms, with positive reframing and positive emotion serving as mechanisms that account for this relationship.To put it simply, practicing gratitude requires reframing for the positive, which then can lead to feeling positive emotions. Positive emotions help in lifting us out of depressive episodes.
When your depression — which lies to you — tells you nobody cares about you, look at your list of the people you are grateful to and for. Remember times they’ve been there for you. Reflect on messages of friendship or love you’ve received through social media, texts, phone calls, or in person.
Keep those messages whenever you do receive them, so you can find them when needed.
When that same liar — depression — tells you there’s nothing to live for, look at your gratitude list. Especially note any people or animals that depend on you. Reframe your thoughts of worthlessness by seeing the things and people that you are grateful for, especially the people who are grateful for you.
In fact, start that list now.
You may think no one is grateful for you, but if you check all your interactions with people you will find those who are glad you’re in their lives. If you don’t find proof in text messages or other forms of communication, ask the people closest to you.
Affirmation, even when asked for, counts. People don’t have to say nice or positive things to you, so when they do — including when asked — it’s most often genuine.
Depression resists as much as it lies.
Depression will resist reframing. It will try to reverse-reframe and take you back to decisions you’ve made about yourself, other people, and life that harm you. It will give you examples of why those decisions you made are “true.”
Don’t let it lie and resist. What makes your depression and depressive thoughts the experts? They’re not.
You made those life decisions as a young child with no filters and limited understanding. Many decisions about yourself, others, and life were made during times of trauma. Those decisions can be changed with new information, reframing, deeper understanding, and yes — gratitude.
This goes for me, too.
I’m having a good day today, so here’s my gratitude list for today. One that I’ll use when the next dip shows up:
I’m grateful for today’s sunshine.
That my son is home for a long visit.
That my cats snuggle close to me in bed.
That I made it through COVID, a torn meniscus, and two broken ankles, and can now take long walks and am back in the gym.
That I recently made a trip to NYC and upstate New York, where I walked. A lot.
That I have new real-life friends who were once only Medium friends.
That my orchid keeps coming back and blooming in spite of my lack of gardening skills.
That there are birds outside my window. The cats are grateful for them, too.
You see? You can be grateful for small things if you can’t think of major reasons to be grateful. It’s all good.
. . .
I’m a therapist, and I’ve done, seen, and facilitated reframing, making new decisions and choices, and using gratitude for myself and my clients.
I also know from many years of experience as a therapist and someone who suffers from depression, that depression can be a recalcitrant foe.
Most of us with depression need therapy combined with medication to alleviate the dreads, worries, gray clouds, and lethargy. Research indicates that combining therapy and antidepressants provides the best results.
Research, as shown above, also indicates that practicing gratitude regularly equips us with a powerful tool to counteract depressive thoughts, reframe those thoughts and resulting feelings, and move forward.
I’m grateful for that, too.
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This post was previously published on Middle-Pause.
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The post Gratitude Works to Defeat Depression appeared first on The Good Men Project.
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