Forgiving Yourself Could Be the Key to a Happy Life

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When you think of forgiveness, you may think of a strained relationship, confrontation with a bully, or even how to heal a broken heart. Forgiveness is often a difficult decision to make in many situations. In other circumstances, it may be as easy as pie.

Forgiving someone and self-forgiveness can play a large role in your happiness and physical health. Learn more about forgiveness and why you should consider it!

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You’re Dating Multiple People

What is Forgiveness?

According to the Greater Good Magazine, organized by Berkely University of California, “Psychologists generally define forgiveness as a conscious, deliberate decision to release feelings of resentment or vengeance toward a person or group who has harmed you, regardless of whether they actually deserve your forgiveness.”

When someone has wronged you or done something that has upset you, it is natural to feel a variety of emotions. Most people feel anger, embarrassment, irritation, resentment, doubt, and many more. All of these feelings can cause us to feel frustrated with our situation.

Determining whether or not you should forgive someone, should come from a place of peace and acceptance. Harboring nasty feelings toward someone or yourself will not bring forth forgiveness. Rather accepting the situation and what the person has done can bring the act of forgiveness.

What is the Impact of Unforgiveness?

Many circumstances cause us to consider forgiveness. Whether it be a simple misunderstanding or a serious accusation, forgiving someone is not an easy task. However, not many people know that not forgiving someone can actually lead to a huge impact on our lives.

When someone first wrongs you, it can cause a physical reaction within you. You may feel your blood pressure rise, your heart race, and your breath become shallow. Those who hold onto these feelings of hurt can hold onto the physical symptoms as well.

Benefits of Forgiving Yourself and Others

Forgiving someone can lower our stress levels and thus lower our chances of contracting heart disease. Lower stress can also help with better sleep, fewer headaches, and improve our overall mood!

There are more benefits than alleviating physical symptoms. Forgiving yourself and others can help your mental state and your emotional health. If you forgive someone, you may see an increase in healthier relationships, self-esteem, and overall positive emotions.

When we forgive ourselves and others, we are actively striving toward a healthier mind and body.

How to Forgive Yourself

The first thing to do when actively trying to forgive yourself is to give yourself space to feel strongly. Too often, we try to hide away our emotions out of fear of confrontation or guilt. We even try to hide them away from ourselves! Instead, permit yourself to feel guilty and ashamed.

After exploring these emotions, it is time to take responsibility for what you have done. If you want to forgive yourself for a wrongdoing, you must admit that what you did was wrong.

Lastly, give yourself some grace and move forward. Understanding that you can move past your mistakes is vital for moving on with your life. In many cases, you may want to try and seek forgiveness from another as well.

You’re Dating Multiple People

How to Forgive Others

Similarly to forgiving yourself, you need to allow the other person to feel their emotions and regret. If someone has hurt you, you mustn’t “forgive and forget”, but rather forgive and move forward.

The easiest way to get started is to start the conversation between you both. Both parties must be willing to air out their feelings and thoughts about the entire process. Once you understand each other better, you can think about accepting their apology and forgiving them.

As you work together toward forgiveness, it may be beneficial to spend some time apart. Once you have forgiven someone, don’t expect things to go back to the way they were immediately. Give your relationship time to heal after forgiveness.