The tears began to fall down her cheeks. A business-savvy wife and long-time entrepreneur asked, “When will it end?”
She felt so guilty. She was really asking when will her caregiving be over. “I’ve given everything I have to care for him. My business is suffering. How much longer will this go on?”
She knew what she was asking. “When will my husband die?”
She was exhausted. Juggling her husband’s requests while caregiving and trying to fulfill the demands of her business were more than she could handle.
Caregiving is difficult. Each family is unique. Each family’s situation is different.
While caregivers try to juggle multiple demands, there are those who have never walked the road, who are quick to judge. They don’t understand the day-to-day toil, especially toward the end of life and the mental, emotional, and physical demands.
The best I could do is to comfort her. I knew her and assured her that she was indeed a loving wife and caregiver. In the final weeks of his life, he experienced alternating bouts of dementia and delirium. He had feared getting Alzheimer’s and yet, he had enough cognitive capacity for us to work on a project together. The time I spent with him gave his wife a caregiver respite. For her, this meant directing her attention to her business.
In his lucid moments he felt purposeful. He would often fell asleep mid-sentence or become disoriented. Still, we managed to share a sense of humor. This is just the way he wanted it—working and contributing until the very end.
Sometimes, caregivers need a little help. Someone to spend a little time with their loved one. She was willing to have an in-home caregiver; however, few were willing to make the long drive to her rural mountain home.
When he died, I attended his celebration of life where his wife planted a tree in his memory.
For more information—
Major Funding Proposal to Support Families’ Long-Term Health Needs – NPR
At the very least, this funding proposal sheds light on what’s important to keep caregiving families viable and to sustain America’s caregivers.
The Diamond Tip of Caregiving
Care for your loved one the way you would want to be cared for IF you were living with the same disease or illness.
Caregiving in the U.S. — 2020 Report A PDF will open of these comprehensive findings on caregiving, support, technology, and long-range planning. See page 4 for Contents.
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