A Woman with Kids Bitterly Expresses Insecurity Toward her Friend Who has More Freedom

People should take responsibility for their life decisions, even those they made when they were young. You have to face the consequences, whether it’s a mistake or part of the plan. One life-changing moment while someone’s still a student is getting pregnant. It’s truly a big step in life, especially when looking forward to something else. If you start to accept the child as part of your journey, then it means you are aware of the changes about to happen in your life. It takes a lot of courage to accept that you won’t be able to have fun and make time for your passion like before.

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Sometimes it’s going to be frustrating. Especially when you see people the same age as you focusing on building their careers and having leisure. It’s normal to feel jealous about it, but never act upon the emotion. Throwing shade at your friends for having a different life than yours will strain the relationship. Traditional-Poem-849 experienced this issue with a friend, and they got into a fight. Her Reddit post became a hot topic, with 14.0k upvotes and 1.8k comments.

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“My friend, Isla (26f), and I (26f) have known each other since middle school. We applied to the same college and got in. However, Isla got pregnant after a few months and decided to drop out,” OP shared. “She’s had 3 more accidental pregnancies and is now a stay-at-home mother of 4.” Both of them remained friends even though they were focusing on individual goals. But every now and then, Traditional-Poem-849 notices that her friend sometimes expresses snide remarks about her freedom. OP just let it pass until Isla became ruder than ever.

“I was telling her the other day that I’m going traveling to Europe, and if all goes well, I will be moving there,” OP wrote. “She got really annoyed with me and told me that it must be nice to have all the freedom and no responsibilities (like hello, I work, I’m doing my Ph.D., it’s not like I’m just sitting on my ass) because I don’t have kids.” Isla seemed to feel left out in life and made that comment because she felt like her friend was bragging about her freedom.

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Since OP had had enough of her friend’s behavior, she couldn’t stop herself from fighting back. “I told her that if she wanted to be free and go off whenever and wherever she wanted, she should’ve used protection and thought before having kids (our conversation was at my house, and her kids weren’t there).” The truth may be harsh, but Traditional-Poem-849 had to say it so her friend could realize her faults, too. If she always thinks that her friends have a better life than hers, then she won’t be able to move further.

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They hadn’t spoken to each other since the fight. Isla won’t even reply to OP’s messages, but she paints OP as the villain in her story. Reddit users couldn’t help but post lengthy comments — pointing out what was wrong in the situation. “I think you’ve just grown too far apart. She’s jealous, but that’s on her. She chose her life, and you chose yours. 4 kids didn’t just happen to her without her input. NTA, and maybe it’s best if you let the friendship fizzle out,” Thewhiterosequeen commented.

OP was clearly not to blame for the whole issue since it was her friend’s personal issue that started it. Isla needs to learn to be supportive and happy for her friend. The grass might be greener on the other side, but you can still water and nurture where you are standing right now. Also, someone’s life might look better than yours, but people don’t know how they struggled to achieve it. Building a career while handling responsibilities is indeed a lot of work. Never invalidate someone’s hard work just because they don’t share the same struggle that you have.

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“NTA. She’s mad at you because she knows you’re right. And she possibly hates her life. But that’s on her. One accidental pregnancy is understandable, four is not. That’s called carelessness,” Disavowed_Snail wrote.

Another point that clearly shows that Isla needs to reassess her life, and she must accept those consequences and make something better out of it. OP and Isla might pursue different paths, but each has its own ups and downs. Nothing is ever easy in life. Reddit users shared advice and comments that might be similar to yours. You should join the discussion if you had the same experience — whether you are Isla or Traditional-Poem-849 in your story.