Why Attachment Matters for Mental Health
Blog
10.22.2026
_Authored by__Peggy Scallon, MD, DFAPA, DFAACAP_ in collaboration with Rogers Behavioral Health
### Our earliest relationships leave a lasting impression.
These bonds, known as attachment, are the building blocks of our emotional well-being. They shape how we see ourselves, build relationships, and navigate the world throughout our lives.
#### What is attachment?
Attachment is the emotional bond we develop with the people who care for us during infancy and childhood. It lays the foundation for our emotional and social development. When that foundation is shaky, it can be more difficult to develop a healthy sense of self and build strong, trusting relationships. These early experiences become an internal “template” for how we expect relationships to work.
Attachment is not about being a perfect parent, because no one is. It’s about responding in a consistent, reliable, and loving way to a child’s emotional needs.
Attachment isn’t determined by a single experience. It’s formed through thousands of everyday interactions. Think about the first few years of a child’s life: When they’re hungry, are they fed? When they’re upset, are they comforted? Over time, these repeated experiences help children learn that they can trust others, feel safe, and know they’re cared for.
#### What are the main attachment styles?
Researchers describe two categories of attachment: secure and insecure. Insecure attachment is commonly divided into two subtypes: anxious attachment and avoidant attachment.
_Secure attachment_
When caregivers consistently respond to a child’s needs with love and comfort, children learn that they’re safe, cared for, and worthy of love. People with secure attachment often:
Trust that support will be there when they need it
Feel safe depending on others
Feel whole and secure in themselves
Expect goodwill from others and extend that goodwill in return
Believe the world is generally a good place
_Insecure attachment_
When a child’s emotional needs aren’t consistently met, they may develop an insecure attachment pattern. Anxious attachment: Children whose caregivers are sometimes loving and responsive, but other times unavailable or inconsistent, may develop anxious attachment. As adults, they may:
Feel uncertain about their relationships and become preoccupied with them
Become needy or clingy
Have a lot of drama in their relationships and experience “push-pull” dynamics
Feel insecure about themselves
Not trust that others will be there for them
_Avoidant attachment_
Children whose caregivers are cold and aloof, regularly dismissing or rejecting their emotional needs, may develop avoidant attachment. As adults, they may:
Dismiss relationships
Keep people at a distance and avoid depending on others
Have difficulty identifying or expressing their emotions
Remember little about their childhood
Attachment patterns often pass from one generation to the next, and that makes sense. We tend to parent in ways that reflect how we experienced attachment growing up. However, that doesn’t mean that was learned can’t be unlearned with mental health treatment and healthy relationships.
#### What does healthy attachment look like?
Healthy attachment results in someone feeling lovable and internalizing a sense of goodness. They can manage their emotions, have a general feeling of safety, and enjoy loving, stable relationships without the rollercoaster of highs and lows. People with healthy attachment also tend to be resilient, meaning they can more easily bounce back from breakups or other challenges. They believe they’ll be okay and that something good is just around the corner.
#### _How does attachment relate to mental health issues?_
Attachment challenges don’t automatically cause a mental health condition. However, they can increase the chances of someone experiencing emotional and relationship difficulties.
Insecure attachment is commonly associated with:
Anxiety
Depression
Borderline personality disorder
Low self-esteem
Chronic loneliness
Difficulty managing emotions
Challenges maintaining healthy relationships
#### When should someone seek help?
It’s not uncommon for people to be unaware of how attachment may be influencing their mental health. It may be time to talk with a mental health professional if you regularly experience:
Persistent feelings of worthlessness or emptiness
Difficulty trusting others
Extreme emotional reactions to conflict or breakups
Low self-esteem
Intense fear of rejection or abandonment
Loneliness due to unhealthy relationship patterns
#### Can therapy improve attachment and mental health?
Yes! If you didn’t experience the love and consistency you needed in your first few years of life, hope is not lost. While early experiences shape us, they don’t define us. With the right mental health support, you can learn skills to change how you see yourself and others and develop what experts call “earned secure attachment.”
With guidance and healthy relationships, you can learn to quiet the negative thoughts that might come from an insecure attachment. You can also begin to heal those emotional wounds by showing yourself the compassion, care, and nurturing you may have missed earlier in life.
_This blog is written in partnership with__Rogers Behavioral Health_
Peggy Scallon, MD, DFAPA, DFAACAP
Peggy Scallon, MD, DFAPA, DFAACAP
Dr. Peggy Scallon, MD is a board-certified child & adolescent psychiatrist at Rogers Behavioral Health with over 30 years of experience in the medical field. Dr. Scallon primarily works with children, adolescents, and adults in her areas of expertise which …
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