I have been a marriage and family counselor for more than fifty years. It’s a great profession since it has allowed me to answer questions I have had since I was a kid — How are boys different from girls? What is sex and why do we crave it? How do we find the love of our lives and learn how to love deeply and well?
Since I specialize in working with men, I often get contacted when a new book is coming out that focuses on men’s mental, emotional, and relational health. I was intrigued when I received an email about a new book by Caitlin V:
“Hi Jed, Nice to be in touch! Male loneliness has become a quiet epidemic – suicide rates are up 30%, and the number of men not having sex has nearly tripled. Yet men who report sexual satisfaction are 63% more likely to say their mental health is ‘good’ or ‘excellent.’”
Over the years I have written seventeen books including international best-sellers Looking for Love in All the Wrong Places and The Irritable Male Syndrome: Understanding and Managing the Key Causes of Male Depression and Aggression.
I had never heard of Caitlin V, but her background was fascinating as the email continued with this introduction:
“Caitlin V, host of HBO Max’s Good Sex (plus over 900,000 YouTube subscribers with 150 million views) and one of today’s leading sexologists, believes intimacy is the missing piece. Her new book, Harder, Better, Longer, Stronger, reveals how performance pressure, shame, and anxiety disconnect men – and how rebuilding confidence in the bedroom can transform every part of life.”
We set up an interview which you can watch here. I also got an advance copy of her new book, Harder, Better, Longer, Stronger: Science, Skills, and Secrets for the BEST SEX of Your Life. I had recently interviewed Dr. Justin J. Lehmiller, senior research fellow at the Kinsey Institute who offered a powerful endorsement of Caitlin’s book:
“Harder, Better, Longer, Stronger is the user manual that probably should have come with your penis. Whether you’re looking to build up your confidence, cultivate deeper connection with a partner, or simply have hotter sex, Caitlin V has you covered. Equal parts science, skill building, and pep talk, this book is a bedside essential.”
My first questions for Caitlin were about her name and how she came to write a sex book for guys. Her answers were unexpected and enlightening.
“I was brought up to believe that getting a good job at a stable institution with a 401(k) and benefits was the only goal. Early on, the thought of studying sex never occurred to me so I studied what my 20-something heart thought was relevant: conflict studies, women’s studies, even international relations. I did my undergraduate thesis on sexual health as a human right and hoping one day I could help more people enjoy sex on a global level.
“After undergrad, I obtained a master of public health focused on women’s health, but by the time I got to my doctorate I was burned out on research and science and wanted to help people directly. Initially I expected to work with women, couples, and the LGBTQIA+ community, since that’s who I had worked with and advocated for in the past.”
That all seemed like the kind of professional experience I might expect from a fellow researcher and wondered how Caitlin went from working with women’s sexuality to working with men. That’s when I got the rest of the story.
“Then I made a YouTube video about squirting,” Caitlin told me, “and it went viral. Seemingly overnight, I had a thousand men with performance issues in my inbox and DMs begging me to help them with their dicks and last longer in bed. As a sex educator and researcher, I was blown away by the need.”
As a fellow clinician and researcher that was one of the reasons I began to work with men and their families. There was such an unmet need. If we could help men with their problems with sex and relationship, we could also help women. Men’s and women’s sexual and relational health are forever intertwined. Like me, Caitlin began to experiment and developed unique ways for helping men.
“Four years later,” Caitlin told me, “I landed on a system of exercises that solved premature ejaculation. Later, I adopted a similar approach for erectile dysfunction. Of the 300 men I’ve helped directly, only three didn’t have a substantial improvement by using my approach. That gave me a 99 percent success rate, which is better than the best-known therapies within the health care system.”
She went on to say, “I haven’t just helped those 300 men. More than 15,000 men have taken my online courses on how to solve these issues.”
Caitlin offers many powerful courses on her website including:
- Make Her Squirt. My best-selling program Make Her Squirt reveals the little-known, barely-understood methods of giving women joyful, squirting orgasms on command.
- Hard as You Want. This program offers an all-natural & holistic 3-step process designed to help you get more consistent and reliable erections.
- Come When You Want. This a counterintuitive approach to ending premature ejaculation, that allows you to control your orgasm with ease and last exponentially longer without expensive medications, numbing creams, or thinking about something nasty just so you can last a few more seconds.
- Epic Relationships. Whether you’re on the brink of a breakup or simply looking to fall in love all over again… Epic Relationship will strengthen your bond and help you resolve the inevitable conflicts that arise in relationships.
Developing A Sex-Positive Approach to Love and Life
Although it seems that sex is everywhere in our world, sex is often used as a way to sell us things we don’t want or need or to control our sexuality to fit someone else’s view of who we should be. I believe we are all sexual beings. It is part of the evolutionary heritage that we share with all other beings in community of life on planet Earth.
I still remember my early experiences as an eight-year-old little boy playing “doctor” with my little eight-year-old girlfriend, Caroline. We delighted in the fun of newly discovered sexual play… Until we were discovered. After than her mother forbade her play with me, though my mother was more understanding. It was my first experience of sexual shame.
I believe that most children experiment with sexuality and in more sex-positive cultures it can lead to a healthy adolescent and adult life.
I loved learning about Caitlin’s early sexual experiences.
“I love to geek out about sex,” says Caitlin, “because, personally, I’ve been into sex from a young age. And that’s not as weird as it might sound. Or at least it wouldn’t be, if our culture weren’t so puritanical about sex.
“My parents never discouraged me from exploring my body and were fairly sex-neutral, which could almost have been seen as progressive in Michigan in the 1990s. I learned from an early age how I could feel pleasure and satisfaction with my body. At 13, I remember asking my dad to drop me off at Barnes & Noble so I could read every book about sex on the shelves.
“When I started having sex, I kept track of everything my boyfriend and I did in my planner. Whether we had orgasms (or not) and how many. What positions felt good, and which modifications felt better. I tried anal at 15 because I was curious, nerdy, and wanted to experience everything I had read about.”
Now you can get to know Caitlin V. Neal (Caitlin V) by visiting her website at https://caitlinvneal.com/. You can also learn how to get her book – Harder, Better, Longer, Stronger: Science, Skills, and Secrets for the BEST SEX of Your Life.
She is also offering A free, half-day virtual masterclass for men on January 17, 2026. Get more information and sign up here:
https://harderbook.com/from-pressure-to-power-summit
If you would like to see the interview I did with Caitlin, you can do so here.
I write regular articles on my site, MenAlive.com, and send out a free newsletter with my latest article and other news about my work. You can subscribe at https://menalive.com/email-newsletter/.
Disclaimer: This story is auto-aggregated by a computer program and has not been created or edited by healthlydays.
Publisher: Source link
