I started to meditate in my early 20s when I had this unidentified illness that had me bedridden for weeks at a time. Some weird form of chronic fatigue syndrome. My mom sent me cassette tapes (in the 80s that is what we used people) that gave me instruction how to meditate. It helped me enormously. It gave me a safe place to rest my mind when I was otherwise in free-fall physically.
Over the years since I have meditated more or less, I have gone on silent retreats, I have experimented with different styles and different teachers. The most important thing I have learned is that there is no good or bad meditation. If you are sitting quietly, you are meditating perfectly. Your mind can be busy or quiet, your body agitated or relaxed, your emotions anywhere from euphoric to heart broken. It is all good. It is all human. It is all exactly where you are supposed to be. Meditation is simply a way of noticing where you truly are. Of coming to peace with it. Finding self-acceptance. And ultimately feeling some level of peace.
My first suggestion is to do it. That sounds stupid but it is true. If you get into the habit of meditating it becomes a lot easier. I find that I get into the groove when I go back to the same spot at the same time of day again and again. It becomes a safe haven I look forward to.
I try to sit with my back straight and feet on the earth. I often start by gazing out the window into the distance. I particularly like to look at trees and focus on the leaves as the wind gently moves them back and forth. And then I close my eyes. Sometimes I meditate lying down which is probably breaking some kind of rule, but I find it restful and relaxing. Remember to relax your face. Breathe through your nose. Some instruct you to put the tongue on the roof of your mouth. You can also do a quick body scan to just feel if there is anywhere you feel tension.
There are many different kinds of meditation with different focal points. The simplest is simply to focus on the breath in and out. Notice where in your body you feel the breath. Your chest, your diaphragm, down your throat, inside your nose, the actual nostrils. See if you can feel the air. Is it warm or cool, damp or dry? I generally feel the breath in my lungs as my chest gently rises and falls like a bellows. I focus on that.
An easy way to keep your focus on the breath is to count from 1 to 10 over and over again. 1 on the inhale, 2 on the exhale, 3 on the inhale, 4 on the exhale….until you reach 10 and then start again.
With any focal point during meditation YOUR MIND IS GOING TO WANDER. I don’t care if you are Buddha himself. The practice is to notice when your mind wanders and gently bring yourself back to the focal point without self-criticism. Even just counting to 10 is hard for me. I will wander off dozens of times during meditation. When I realize I am thinking about something else, I smile and come back. And gradually my focus gets deeper and deeper.
You can certainly try to just sit down and meditate on your own. I would suggest starting with 1 minute literally. And then once you are comfortable doing that move to 2 minutes. Then 3…up to 10 minutes. For most people 10 minutes is a comfortable place to stay for a while as part of a meditation practice.
But rather than doing it yourself most people find it easier to get some support by either meditating with others or with guidance.
These days there are some great apps that can help you meditate. I have used them extensively. About six years ago I went through a particularly rough period. I would lie down and listen to a guided meditation on one of these apps every day for up to an hour to survive. It was my safe place. Here are the ones that I particularly like.
Probably the most famous app is Headspace which was founded by former Tibetan Buddhist monk Andy Puddicombe. His is the calming voice that I have spent hours and hours listening to while meditating. You can hear about his fascinating backstory when he appeared on Rich Roll here. But download the app. It is a great, easy way to get started. He is particularly wonderful with beginners.
Another app I have used extensively is 10% Happier. It was created by newscaster Dan Harris after he had a panic attack on national television and ultimately found that meditation is what helped him the most. As mentioned above, he also has a podcast on all things meditation. And he has written two books on the subject.
A recent guest on the 10% Happier podcast was Father Greg Boyle, who is a spiritual hero of mine. He founded something called Homeboy Industries in Los Angeles. Father Boyle has dedicated his life to helping former gang members. He is humble and compassionate. I try to emulate his approach to life. You can listen to the podcast “Can you really conquer hatred with love?” HERE. He has three amazing books which I highly recommend.
Pema Chodron is one of my favorite spiritual teachers. is an American Tibetan Buddhist. She is an ordained nun, former acharya of Shambhala Buddhism and disciple of Chögyam Trungpa Rinpoche. I find her teachings, voice and presence to be enormously soothing. Here is a recording of her talk on Self-Compassion.
Please feel free to contact me at [email protected] about meditation, recovery, sobriety, and gratitude. I am not on social media much except to post.
Namaste, Big Love!
…
Tom Matlack | Father, Husband, Sober Seeker of Spiritual Enlightenment
A short introduction to meditation for those who are curious, need to get back to a practice, or just want a way to find a bit of peace in a chaotic world. There is no “bad” mediation. If you sit quietly you are meditating perfectly. But there are a few ideas and tools that might help. hashtag#meditation hashtag#silence hashtag#mindfulness hashtag#stillness hashtag#beauty hashtag#clarity hashtag#recovery hashtag#sobriety hashtag#11thStep
—
This post was previously published on LINKEDIN.COM.
***
***
All Premium Members get to view The Good Men Project with NO ADS. Need more info? A complete list of benefits is here.
Life Moves Pretty Fast: Why Gen-X “Got it” Before the Rest of You
***
More by Tom Matlack:
Bobby Fisher, Queen’s Gambit, Magnus Carlsen, the Botez Sisters and Why Chess Is Cool Again
COVID Was the Best Thing (and Worst Thing) That Has Ever Happened to Sobriety
***
You may also like these posts on The Good Men Project:
White Fragility: Talking to White People About Racism 
Escape the “Act Like a Man” Box 
The Lack of Gentle Platonic Touch in Men’s Lives is a Killer 
What We Talk About When We Talk About Men Join The Good Men Project as a Premium Member today.
All Premium Members get to view The Good Men Project with NO ADS.
A $50 annual membership gives you an all access pass. You can be a part of every call, group, class and community.
A $25 annual membership gives you access to one class, one Social Interest group and our online communities.
A $12 annual membership gives you access to our Friday calls with the publisher, our online community.
Register New Account
Log in if you wish to renew an existing subscription.
Username
First Name
Last Name
Password
Password Again
Choose your subscription level
- Yearly - $50.00 - 1 Year
- Monthly - $6.99 - 1 Month
Credit / Debit Card PayPal Choose Your Payment Method
Auto Renew
Subscribe to The Good Men Project Daily Newsletter By completing this registration form, you are also agreeing to our Terms of Service which can be found here.Need more info? A complete list of benefits is here.
—
Photo credit: Shutterstock
The post Let’s Get Quiet: Beginner’s Guide to Meditation appeared first on The Good Men Project.
Original Article
