I’m a stubborn kind of guy. When I get in the groove with positive habits—whether sticking with an exercise program, getting to bed early or avoiding certain foods — I can be like a machine. My willpower is the stuff of legend amongst my family. I’ve impressed some with my commitment and alienated others who find my devotion and dedication somehow offensive.
Unfortunately, the same trait tends to hold for the bad stuff too.
When I get in the habit of cracking open a beer each evening it soon becomes a daily part of my routine. I’m prone to deleting social media apps from my phone rather than limiting my time on them, for I find it particularly easy to get drawn in to endless scrolling, just like I chastise my kids for doing.
I suspect this all-or-nothing, sh*t-or-bust trait has been responsible for some of my greatest achievements and my most dramatic collapses in my life so far.
It also likely explains why twice each year, usually around Christmas and again in the height of summer, my diet and exercise falls apart in dramatic style.
The good news is that after a few years of recognizing it in myself, I’ve figured out a strategy for getting back on track. It’s not complicated, or even all that innovative, but it works.
If you’re prone to similar collapses of will, or have recently fallen off the wagon of healthy living, perhaps you’ll find it helpful?
Best intentions often fall apart
Your healthy living may have faltered after an injury. Maybe you got Covid and are struggling to recapture your form or fitness, or the desire to even feel like living healthily again?
Perhaps a regular cheat meal became a regular cheat day, then a week off — now it’s a month or more since you last trained? It could be that you had a bad day at work, an argument with your partner or your teenage kid was playing up and you sought comfort in food, drink and Netflix.
There’s no judgment here. We can all offer explanations why our commitment faltered and we strayed from the path. I justify my own seasonal failures to myself with a variety of explanations.
At Christmas I want to feel free to eat, drink and be merry with loved-ones. This tends to become the norm for most of December. By the new year I’ve usually put on 10 pounds or more and have long-since stopped exercising — cue the self-loathing and general discomfort in my own skin. In the summer the same logic applies, and similar effects follow.
Whatever the explanations or excuses, there’s usually one simple truth. In the words of motivational speaker and former Navy Seal Jocko Willink:
“All of your excuses are just lies.”
Whatever the reason, the fact is we’ve strayed from the path. As justifiable as it may have been, it happened. We can keep regurgitating the reasons and explanations to ourselves and anyone who’ll listen, or we can accept, adapt and move forwards.
Have the pity party, then move on.
After a lapse I’ll usually reach a point of realizing and regretting my actions (or inaction).
When I got home this summer after a vacation of over-indulging on ice cream and beer (not usually at the same time), I felt bloated and unfit. But I was also immensely disappointed in myself. Why had I let it happen again?
In the midst of our vacation I’d kidded myself that there was similar benefit from a daily walk (beneficial, but still a poor substitute for a proper workout).
I’d fooled myself to believing I was happier living an indulgent life rather than sticking to the path.
I cynically viewed those who still clad themselves in Lycra and joined the gym-going masses with scorn and pity.
I tried to convince myself that I was too old for the gym-going life.
Deep down, I knew I was lying.
I allowed myself some time to lament my fall from gym-going grace and I beat myself up thoroughly. But then I resolved to move on, to get back on the horse.
I bit the bullet and went back to the gym.
It was as unpleasant as I’d imagined it would be — perhaps more so. I endured a few comments and knowing (but welcoming) smiles from the regulars who’d noted my summer absence. My trainer offered a sadistic smile and a slightly sarcastic “long-time, no-see”.
I sweated, suffered and swore my way through the workout. With a grim resignation I acknowledged how much fitness and tone had been lost.
It was beyond painful, and more pain is on its way as I recover from the session.
But I made it through. I’ve committed to another class with the same trainer next week.
Commitment and the threat of shame through letting others down are powerful motivators.
Progress is gradual, but so is decay
When we recognize that we’ve fallen off the wagon we have a choice to allow the decay to continue, or to stop the rot and get back in control. It takes time to gain endurance or muscle mass, or to build mental resilience. It also takes time for these to be lost.
It takes time to lose weight, but it also takes time to gain it too.
The trick is to stop the rot, to accept what’s been lost and to get back on track.
I’m reminded of another favorite quote from Jocko Willink:
“Rome wasn’t built in a day. We all know that…. But Rome also didn’t fall apart overnight either. It took hundreds of years for Rome to reach its peak but it also took time, hundreds of years for Rome to decay and fall apart. That is representative of life. You don’t achieve worthwhile goals quickly or easily. They take time, they take struggle. They take relentless pursuit, day-in and day-out. That’s what it takes. But also, things don’t usually fall apart quickly either… at least at first. It’s a slow process. A little slip here, a little set-back over there; a slow wearing down of discipline and will over time.”
-Jocko Willink
If you suffer a lapse in your commitment to living healthily, whether a seasonal fail (like me) or that’s caused by something unforeseen you have the choice to get back on track.
You’ll feel rotten for the gains that have been lost, probably even mad at yourself for having slipped up in the first place.
Allow yourself the moment of regret. Beat yourself up for a little while if it helps. But then get back on it.
You’ll feel better when you do — trust me!
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This post was previously published on medium.com.
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Photo credit: Thomas Kelley on Unsplash
The post How To Get Back on Track When Your Fitness Regime Goes to Hell appeared first on The Good Men Project.
